Dear Family
Day one. Knocking doors from 5-7. At a trailer park in cloudy Tacoma. It's raining lightly. We walk up to the first door.
Companion 1: Ready?
Companion 2 (me) : I think so. Let's go.
*Knock Knock knock*
Latino Woman answers door: Hola.
Companion 1: Hola. Como esta?
Latino Woman: Bien. AOSDDFJGJDAFGKLWERTKLJE RKT . WEOER?
Companion 1: Si. Pues AODFOWIEJFGH .... SOY MISIONARIOS QUE TIENE ASDUG GFEMWNR MENSAGIJE SLJKAWEGFOPG ET,.T.T.LL IWEORHTTJ.. WEORUQ. QUIERA?
Latino Woman: No. Gracias.
Companion 1, and I: Gracias.
Companion 1, and I: Gracias.
Me: What did she say?
Companion 1: She said she's not interested. She goes to another church.
Door 2:
Knock knock knock
Latino Woman again. This time different.
Companion 1: Hola. Soy WEROI MISIONARIOS. ADOFITHE GBHGHEI SDF DKDKDFGEW. MENSAJE DE JESUCRISTO. WERITHWER GKLADK USTEDE TIWE..NE. WETHOWE?
Latino Woman: No. SOY ASDGFHE TKE.. WKETHT OEL.
Companion 1: Que Bueno. Pues, Gracias.
Latino Woman: Esta Bien. Gracias. Adios.
Door 3:
Comp 1: It's your turn, Elder.
Me *inwardly: AGGHHHH!!!!
So yeah. Week 1. Natives? Que chevre! Mi capacidad intiendar espanol? Come se dice yikes?!!
So yeah. The first door I knocked was awesome, though. Really it was. Even though I didn't understand much, I felt a real rush of the spirit as I knocked on the first door. And I knew I was in the right place. Doing the right thing. Because I was on the Lord's errand doing what I was supposed to be doing when I was supposed to be doing it. And the best part about being a mssionary? It never stops!!! I get to do this 24/7! In one of the most beautiful places on earth.
Day two we went out knocking.
Quote of the week, when I was on splits talking to Elder Edwards. "My companion calls it 'Greenie Faith.' But I call it true faith."
How is that some missionaries just get tired halfway through their missions and give up? That could be the day they are needed the most! That could be the day the Lord needs them to give their all. That could be the day they find the one. The crop among the tares. And the field is white already to harvest. It's just that some of the laborers sell themselves short when they need to gird up their loins and answer the call. Well, this week I've made a commitment to myself. I'm not going to be one of those missionaries. I'm not going to get tired. I'm going to give it my all, everysecond of every day. On the last testimony meeting we had as a district, something one of my friends at the CCM said really hit me:
Our time to prove ourselves is now. This is our time. This is our shot. So let's go out and do it!
Every morning, I give myself a pep talk. Because every morning, I come about a hundred people. Who's lives my responsibility it is to watch over. To open my mouth to. To give them the chance for them too, to be able to lighten their loads and go by the full torchlight.
The "why I believe" stake conference was awesome this week. It was when I got to sing with our all of the missionaries in the south tacoma area, and to hear the testimonies of recent converts. And how the testimony of truth given through the mouths of missionaries just like us changed their lives for the better. One of them said something that struck a chord in my heart.
"Our lives are like a circle, with a small piece missing. Most of the time it rolls along smoothly, but if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that there is something critical missing, something that makes us take the bumps much harder. most of the time, it seems like such a small piece is missing. but that's only because we are looking at it from the world's point of view. And with the help of missionaries we are able to realize something very important -- What if we're not the mostly complete circle with just one piece missing? What if we are actually just that one little piece with the rest of the big circle missing? And once we realize that, how can we have the courage to change?"
So. I have a commitment for you all this week. Gift it all over to God. Pray about what it is that you can change. What it is that is missing. Give it all away. Willing to lose it all in the pursuit of the Good Shepherd. And I promise that if you do that, you will find what it is that is missing. If you can do that, you can be truly happy. Remember to give the 101 and not the 99.
With that in mind, I would like to pose a question to you all:
When did obedience cease to become an irritation, and instead become a quest?
Being perfect is hard. In fact it is impossible. Relying on your own strength while trying to do and be perfect without is one of the fastest ways to self harm, and self esteem, that I can think of. It is, in fact, a self destruction. But when we realize that we are never to be perfect alone, never to fulfill our quest on this earth alone, and that we never walk alone, not even for one step, that is when we realize that one day, we can be spotless, and perfect, and truly happy and clean. Christ has always been enough for us. But have to learn that we need to give back to Him all that he has given to us as best as we are capable. Then and only then, is true peace, true solace, and true joy that I speak of, more than just possible, or even probable. In all reality, it's our destiny. I know this to be true. Trust in Him, and you will find that He is able Trust in you. For it is far more important to be trusted, than to be loved.
God loves us, He really does. But we can't expect Him to do all the work. We can and will feel His love. But first, we need to let Him in, by turning out. By giving all we can in the service of others, and in the service of God, and in the pursuit of becoming like He who is already perfect, that is the only way we will find what we having been searching for our whole lives.
I would like to end with a quote I paraphrased from David A Bednar, in Character of Christ:
"If we get lost in the service of others, true joy and purpose can be found in our lives. But if we go looking for it ourselves, we will never find it."
I know this Gospel is true with all my heart. And my only hope is that others too can find that joy. Because its not about us. Its about what we can help others to become. And in the process we become what we want to be ourselves.
--
Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life. Remember the quote of ephesians chapter 3: "all things are possible through christ that strengtheneth me."
You can all do it! You just have to believe.
This is my hope and prayer.
P.s. My haiku:
Rain Rain rain Rain Rain
Rain Rain rain rain rain rain rain
Rain rain Tacoma
Until next week!
Elder Hakala
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